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Saturday, December 01, 2007
i've been back from melbourne for almost a week now. had good fun there.
been thinking about death a lot now for the past week, since the dragonboat incident. death is just so sudden, so unexpected (sometimes). i wonder what it feels like to die. is it all calm and darkness? or light. i wonder what it feels like in the seconds before you die. terror? peace? or is everything just a blur? then i think about those five guys that died and think, why them? they all had such bright futures, they were all so talented in their own ways, they had their lives all ahead of them. i really wonder where this all fits in in God's plan. it seems unfair, no? such bright young men, just dying like that, so sudden, so unexpected. i'm thinking about their parents, how painful it must be to have their children die before them, how they must wish that they could take their son's place and die for them. i dare not imagine the grief they must be feeling. and i believe, though the wound might heal after a long long time, the scar never will. also, this reminds me, our lives can just end like that. regardless of age and health status and whatever, when your time's up, it's up. it scares me, really, how i might just die suddenly, like one of them, or one of my loved ones. especially if i never get a chance to say goodbye. i dont know why i'm saying all these, i guess i've never felt this topic of death so close to my heart before.
haha, enough of my incoherent rambling. i'm not really sure what i'm saying either actually.
okay i'm tired already. it's still quite early actually-.-
it's nice cool weather tonight. but my room is super stuffy for goodness knows what reason. so i just moved the whole mattress out to the living room. heh.
i'm so dead for homework. haven't really started at all. and i haven't started studying for math retest either. hoho. die.
lost myself at 12:26 AM