Find it.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

gosh i'm really feeling very tired.

anyway the main purpose of this post is abt choir. okay. abt the song.

all this while i've been singing Life Defends like just another song. yes i did try to inject emotions, but it was just sounding very void and empty. (cant really blame us cos we werent told the translation yet)
yest jac told gave us the translation of the song. it's basically something like this.

Life Defends

Life defends,

Life defends life.

By risking life,

Life defends life.

With no word but just a cry,

with no weapon

but just a body of your own,

Life defends.

There is no deception,

There is no leniency.

There is no deception,

There is no leniency.

Life fights,

Fights against life-

For the sake of a new life,

For the sake of a new life.

i personally feel the lyrics are really really meaningful. maybe it's just me, maybe i'm just an emo freak, but jac first told us the translation i nearly cried. i was tearing actually. think about the lyrics. they're really philosophical actually. when jac told us the second time with the whole choir, i really felt the emotions rising in me. i actually understood what we were supposed to convey. then. they turned all the lights off and since i memorised and a few of us too we closed our eyes. and sang. technically it wasnt perfect. actually it was far from perfect, we still have a lot to work on. but i felt(and everyone else too) that it was the best combined we've ever sung for this song. you could hear the emotions, the phrasing, -i just dont know how to put it in words- it felt so good. just. good(:

<3>

lost myself at 10:54 AM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

i think i'm veryveryvery antisocial=.=
veryveryveryvery antisocial>.<

oh heck.

i really shldnt have slacked so much yest. lost ALL my momentum and now i'm having trouble picking up again. went to the study corner just now intending to finish up my work but in the end i fell asleep. i'm so tired for some reason i dont know why=.= now i'm feeling guilty for slacking. ahh i dont know how to do my maths. why am i even slacking and wasting time blogging?! AHH sheesh i'm stressing myself=.=
okay. i should seriously get off and go do my maths. and hw. and i still have my motivational speech to prepare.like how am i even supposed to motivate=.=

and it's the SECOND week of sec3. we've gotten practically all our SIAs. i'm stressing over them for some weird reason which i dont know=.=
and there's still mpp. PROPOSAL!! okay gotta rush that out. kinda hard our ccas are all on clashing days. so there's practically no day. and i'm still going to go for voice lessons i think. maybe. prob on tuesday nights after choir=.= so. i think i'm going t be quite busy. definitely not as busy as some people. like so many things in sch and cca and other stuff outside and still doing so well in sch work. ohwell. they're clever. i'm not.
i think it's cos my priorities are rather wrong. choir comes above sch work>.< i think. which is quite bad dont you think so. but still. ohwell.
anyone keen to go for the adam khoo camp thing with me? tell me if you want k. then we can go together. maybe june hols? i think i need to be motivated again. and jolted out of my little singing world. and face reality and get into the real world.
AHHH. okay i shall get off like now. and do my maths i have NO IDEA how to do.

lost myself at 10:35 PM

okay. i seriously shouldnt be here. but my parents are out and my sis is sleeping. so i can do pretty much what i want for now. it's 12.25am.

shall skip over many things today.-blahblah- went to cc to supposedly do hw. dragged chou with me(: ended up going to j8 to buy food. brought to the playground and ate and talked. as usual talked abt the same kind of crap. somehow talking crap to chou is really relieving for me. like something i want to say but just cant say but somehow can just say to chou. okay i know i'm not making much sense=.= but yeah. thanks chou for always listening to my crap. i think our personalities are pretty much alike. just that i talk more XD talked for like more than an hour or two. just talked lotsa crap. abt cca, class, sch, friendships etc. talked until my mum called me to tell me to go home.
-blahblah-
oh choir lunch prac today was quite okay. like quite few ppl but that was because sop2s had vocal training i think. SING PEOPLE SING. SING LIKE YOU MEAN IT. AND YOU MUST MEAN IT. IF NOT THERE'LL BE NO POINT IN SINGING.
dont you think so? what's the point of joining choir if you dont want and like to sing?
SO SING LIKE YOU MEAN IT. AND MEAN IT. FEEL THE PASSION. AND SING THE PASSION.

ruimin asked me to take lunch prac tmr. cos there's music comm meeting tmr.
moot parliament! proposal due nxt friday. work hard ppl!

i think this is like my first proper post in a long time.
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we've often talked about this. what do i want to be when i grow up? i want to teach music. for a time, i wanted to be a pianist/piano teacher. a few years back i changed my mind. i still wanted to teach music. but i wanted to be a choir conductor. somehow, you've never supported this ambition. you call it idealism. i dont think so. i call it passion. i just want to give music to the world through voice. she doesnt want me to be a singer, fine. not that i really want to be one. i just want to convey my love a passion for choir and singing to others. it doesnt matter if i dont earn much, or have to slog hard for long hours. it won't be easy, i know. singing's not something that you can give up for a few years to study and continue it later as a "hobby or interest". i want to get a scholarship to study voice overseas. will you support that descision?

/quote
would you rather i be happy with plunging into that rat race to get to the top of the food chain, or would you rather i be happy with doing something i am gifted at, doing something i believe in? i mean. money is important, yes. but unfortunately i'm not happy with just money alone.

yeah i said i wanted to be a music teacher - it's because i believe in the job. i honestly would like to teach other people how to enjoy and appreciate music. it's not just for the money. i said wouldn't mind being in the service industry either - cos it'd mean i can make people smile. if you'd ask me to choose - make one kid happy, give him self-confidence by teaching him music; or one funky white sportscar. i'd choose the former.

which would you rather i choose?

/end quote

it's the same. i'd rather make some kid happy by teaching him/her music. i'd rather spread the joy and passion i feel when i sing and bring happiness to others. it's not all about money. money can't buy you everything.

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should i take my piano or voice exam this year. i havent even managed to find a voice teacher yet. if you only let me choose one i'll rather take voice. i know you'll say that it's rather wasted seeing i've come this far. i think so too. but singing's special to me. i dont know why you cant support me on this. it's still music, but in a different form. yes. i like piano. i love playing it. it's a very beautiful instrument. deep, heartfelt emotions can be conveyed through your fingertips dancing off the black and white keys. singing's just... different. it's something i cant explain. maybe it's just me.
but on the other hand i'll finish my piano. i promise myself this.
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so i say thank you for the music, for giving it to me-

all the way nyc<3

12.58am

lost myself at 12:22 AM

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

somehow i just dont feel like going to school. but again, i do. there's lunch choir prac tmr and everyday. i'm happy. but then again, i'm not.
why do i keep contridicting myself.
i dont know. and i dont care anymore.

lost myself at 10:42 PM

what the shit.

lost myself at 10:34 PM