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Friday, March 02, 2007
i'm numbed.pain doesn't hurt anymore.pain eases pain.temporarily.it hurts when you care, because i know i'm making you worried, and it hurts me to see you worried.i try. i do try. i try to be high and happy and cheerful so that i won't affect the people around me. i try to laugh and scream and play so that people around me would be happy. i choose to smile even when i don't feel like it so that people would smile back at me. sometimes, in class when some people are just so high and cheerful and some people are just sad and crying, i really dont know what to do and feel. should i just be high and happy or sad and emo. it's a very lost feeling. like you just can't fit in. and i try, because i know you are worried and because i don't want you to be worried because it hurts me to see you worried about me. sometimes, some things can't be expressed in words. i've never been good with words. and some things i'd rather keep to myself. some hurt, i'd rather pick up from by myself. because i don't want to hurt anyone else along the way. i'm really afraid to hurt any one else because of my selfish stupid little problems. it'll pass, eventually. i'll be better, soon. the hurt will fade, by and by. and everything will be just okay. i wish.i hope i'll be fine, you'll be fine, everybody'll be fine, everything'll be fine, by obs. thankyou for caring.
lost myself at 12:24 AM